Truth about being overweight and dating
My crushes as an overweight girl started when I was in elementary school. It began as an odd acquaintanceship with Mike in my freshman year of high school. Though the compliments were strange, they were detail-oriented and weren’t backhanded. Another part of me said that he was just taunting me.He talked to me about odd topics, asking me unusual questions and giving me weird compliments. Mike was too thin, attractive and popular to like a fat girl like me.He also admitted that he didn’t return my feelings. Now I realize that refusing to address my feelings was already my answer. With Mike, I was too self-conscious to know my worth.With Forrest, I was too desperate to understand his subtle rejection. I didn’t pursue a romantic relationship for nearly two years. Yet heartbreak was what I needed to build the foundation of my self-esteem. Heartbreak, starting college and becoming vegan helped me grow in confidence over the last two years.
Being unhealthy, lethargic and cranky weren’t part of my goals. Maybe Forrest wasn’t one of the guys who like big girls. Now I wouldn’t, since I realize what you weigh and eat is connected to how much you value yourself and your life. It’s PART of the package, whether we like it or not.
I was more attractive because I cared about myself and what I put into my body.
The number of messages I received on OKCupid confirmed that I had something valuable to offer. True, I still had some weight to lose and wasn’t completely confident in myself.
I was waiting for the moment when he would finally understand me and be repulsed. If you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to understand why someone else would love you. I didn’t love myself and didn’t get much love from my distant family or friends. You can’t replace self-love with love from another.
I was waiting for him to tell me I wasn’t good enough, the way I told myself that every day. If you start a relationship when you don’t love yourself, you’ll have many hardships along the way. My peers were starting to have relationships as young as 12. In my experience, it’s better to let love come naturally.
You need to be able to love, forgive and trust yourself before you can consider giving them to another person.